As co-parents, you and your ex have to share time with the children. You both have your own homes, and the children live with you for a set amount of time while you have custody.
One thing that you’re worried about is that you and your ex didn’t even have the same parenting rules when you were married. Do you need to implement those rules now that you’re divorced? Do you have to have the same rules in both homes?
Stability can help
The first thing to consider is that stability can help children after a divorce. This is why it is often good for them to have similar rules. If they have to go to bed at 7 at one house and 10 at the other, that’s going to be very confusing for them and they won’t have a set schedule. If they get punished for an activity at one home and praised for it at the other, that can hinder their development and make them feel unsure about all of their decisions. It’s good for co-parents to be on the same page.
All that being said, if you’re just looking at your legal obligations, then you do not have to have the same rules. You don’t have to agree with the rules that your ex uses. But you cannot tell them what rules they have to use, nor can they tell you that you have to follow the rules that they have laid down. Both parents have the ability to make these decisions on their own, addressing anything that hasn’t already been worked out in their official parenting plan.
As you make this plan and consider how to proceed, you always want to be aware of your rights and obligations as a parent.