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For some, friendship after divorce is possible

| Jul 16, 2021 | Divorce |

It’s both common and natural for divorcing spouses in Sonoma County to have a lot of negative feelings toward each other. Both you and your ex are likely to feel betrayed, bitter, angry and depressed at various times during the divorce process. It can take years to process your emotions toward your divorce and move on.

But that does not mean you and your former spouse will be enemies for the rest of your life. If the two of you have children, you will need to find a way to be civil in each other’s presence and in your texts, emails and phone calls. It may not be easy at first, but most divorced parents develop a cordial relationship to make things like child custody transfers and parental decision-making.

And sometimes, the post-divorce relationship becomes a genuinely close friendship. Not a rekindled romance, but a new, platonic form of togetherness.

Best friends with his ex-wife

The TODAY Show website recently shared the story of a man who regularly goes on vacation with his ex-wife. The man posted a photo on Instagram that showed himself, his ex-wife and their current spouses sitting on the front porch of a vacation rental, smiling and enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, what people post on social media is not always reality. But the exes say it was at their daughter’s 16th birthday party — the first time they and their new spouses were in the same room together — that they decided they were ready to let go of grudges over the past.

Since then, the couples have become close friends. They celebrate every family event together and take vacations as a foursome.

As parents, you need to get along

Being best friends with your ex may not be in your future. In some cases, such as when your ex was abusive, a healthy relationship may not be possible. But as long as it is physically and emotionally safe to do so, rebuilding trust with your ex can be vital if you are going to be effective co-parents.