Kathleen J. Smith, Attorney at Law

Resolve divorce problems one issue at a time

No one can give you a specific format for avoiding all stress in divorce. The fact is that ending a marriage in court is seldom easy. It's understandable that you might experience emotional or financial distress, especially if you and your spouse were married for 10 or more years. There's a lot of history there and adapting to a new lifestyle after such a long time can be quite challenging. If you're a parent, it adds a whole host of other issues to the mix.

You've likely heard it said that you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew. This is definitely good advice when it comes to navigating divorce proceedings. It's best to build a strong support network from the start and to tap into available resources as needed if a particular problem arises.

Emotional roller-coaster

Prepare yourself for numerous emotions as you take your first steps back into a single lifestyle. You might feel angry one day, then sad the next. If you're struggling to resolve a particular issue, you might also feel frustrated, stressed or exhausted. Your children, too, will likely express their feelings in unique ways. One child might act rebellious, while another grows intensely quiet.

The best thing you can do is allow every person, including yourself, to process his or her emotions in whatever ways seem to help the most. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

Physical health can suffer in divorce

It's critical to your physical health that you get enough sleep, eat healthy foods and stay active during and after divorce. If you neglect your physical health, you may quickly notice adverse symptoms. Also, don't hesitate to seek support from a licensed physician if you notice adverse symptoms in any of your children that you think might be connected to your divorce.

Structure, stability and routine

Divorce need not leave you feeling as though someone pulled the rug out from under your feet, at least, not permanently. Most California judges would agree that children in particular fare best when their parents help them maintain a sense of structure and normalcy in their daily life as they get used to their parents residing in separate households.

If a specific legal issue is causing disruption in your family's daily life, you can reach out for support to resolve the problem in as swift and fair a manner as possible.

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